Posts Tagged ‘rants’

New look. New start (we’ll see). New Rant.

Only the elderly have reverence for the aged. You do not automatically deserve respect because you’ve been alive longer – you’ll have to earn it like everyone else. Now get out of my way, jump up your own ass and die.


Is it just me, or is reliability a commodity of the past? When did it become acceptable to be completely unreliable to the point of… well… pointlessness. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned in the sense that, if I make plans with someone I do my utmost to keep them, and expect the other person to do the same.

Jump up your own ass and die.

I was sitting in the lunch room today and happened to glance down to my side to see a copy of The Sun ‘newspaper’. I put that in inverted commas for reasons that will become painfully evident in a few minutes. Anyway, in said ‘newspaper’ was an article written by what I can only assume was a journalist, seeing as he has a regular column. I read the article, since it pertained to the industry in which I currently hold employment.  Actually, article needs to be in inverted commas as well, but now I’m being mildly petty. I feel it a moral and societal obligation to reply to this article with a letter of my own, since it is so far removed from actual news, or even anything approaching factual insight. I’ll copy and paste the article in full below, and here’s a link to it if you want to read other people’s comments. The comments themselves are quite revealing about the state of some people who roam this nation, actually allowed to vote.

I DID something on Monday that I have wanted to do for 30 years.

I gave my bank manager the mother and father of all earfuls.

I’m thinking of making it available on a podcast.

For decades I have had to bow and scrape to the bank and their stuck-up staff who look down on my best efforts.

Monday was different. Monday was the day that the Royal Bank of Scotland was nationalised.

So now I own them. And by God were they going to pay.

I warmed up by pointing out to the manager that he was a failure. Now the lowest of the low, a civil servant.

And no matter how my bank account had looked over the years, I was a success.

At least I had money in my account and that’s more than can be said for RBS.

In future I don’t need your advice on what businesses to set up or become involved in. You haven’t got a clue. Your business is skint.


Secondly, from now on in I want to be treated like a valued customer and not somebody who appears to be getting in the way of the smooth running of the bank.

That will involve him smiling when I approach rather than looking as though one of us has trodden in something rather disgusting.

Thirdly, never again were they to offer me advice about what to do with my money. He didn’t know anything.

Bank executives are largely idiots who can just about print the stuff but that’s it.

Finally, I wanted him to promise that he would hire extra staff so he would get rid of the queues and stop making mistakes on my account.

My rather vile rantings were met with either “quite right” or silence.

My impression was that he had been receiving quite a lot of customer advice that day. The power has shifted forever.

We the customers are the masters now. Promise me this morning that you will contact your manager and warn him or her that unless you are better treated you will take your overdraft elsewhere.

Right, that’s the whole article. How do we all feel? Suitably literaryly violated? Yeah, I’m allowed to make up words, because at least what I write makes sense, you fucking cretin. Like I said, I’m afraid I see it as my duty to reply to the ‘article’. My reply is below, and will be posted as a comment to the article, emailed to the author, and quite possibly be distributed elsewhere.

I did something today that I’ve wanted to do for years, as well. I wrote a letter in reply to a journalist who penned an article so far removed from actual journalism I had to use a map to connect the two.

There are so many things wrong with your article that I’ve genuinely no idea where to start, but perhaps firstly I should state I work for a bank. Not, I’d like it known, the Royal Bank of Scotland, before you jump on a soap-box and assume I’m merely trying to defend my own.

Do you really think anyone at branch level had anything to do with the current economic climate the country finds itself in? Really? To clarify, the reason the country is in such monetary hardship at the moment is down to the decisions and choices made at the very highest level of the UK (and the US’s) major banks, not the people in direct contact with the public every single day. Calling the local branch manager a failure is much akin to calling the boy who polishes the shoes of the England football team a failure when the team loses the world cup.

The staff and managers in the branches are doing the best they can to actually calm and reassure the general public that their money is going to be ok. We don’t sit around behind closed doors cackling to ourselves about taking all your worldly wealth – our job is to try and save our customers money in whatever way we can and make their lives easier, not grab more of it for the bank. You venting your anger, frustration, or just having a shout because for some bizarre reason you think you have the right to would only have made the manager and the staff of the branch feel unappreciated and hated when they’re just as affected (if not moreso) as everyone else by the state of the nation’s finances. You think we have job security at the moment?

Secondly, you have no right to walk into a bank (or any service establishment, for that matter) and shout at the staff for some perceived mistreatment on your part. I am disgusted by your attitude to this matter, and even more so to the fact that you openly encourage others to do so when the staff of banks are clearly having a hard enough time of things at the moment as it is. Just because people work in a service environment, that does not mean they’re there to fall over at your every whim and desire to please you. We’re still people and deserve to be treated with respect. More to the point, perhaps, just perhaps the negative attitude you think you experienced from the staff of your bank is because you always enter the place with such an air of disdain and contempt about yourself that they’re in no way incentivized to be anything other than cordial to you? One wonders if you ever tried walking in there with a smile and a ‘good morning’? That was rhetorical, I already know the answer. Ever heard of projection? Smiles are infectious, but so are scowls.

Oh, by the way, the Royal Bank of Scotland aren’t owned by the government now, they’re a majority share-holder. There’s a subtle difference. Bank employees are not civil servants, but so what if they were. Where on Earth do you think you’d be without civil servants. What makes people who work in the service of the country the “lowest of the low”? As opposed to, say, an arrogant little man with a huge chip on his shoulder who specializes in writing inflammatory and spiteful remarks simply for the sake of his own self-satisfaction.

To be honest, the entire tone and content of your ‘article’ speaks hugely of a massive grudge you have with banks, and that’s nothing to do with the climate currently. Did they give you a few bank charges in the past? Refuse to give you a loan or increase your overdraft? Perhaps you should start taking some responsibility for yourself and your own actions and realise banks don’t do things like that for fun and frolics. It was your fault. Instead of practising incredibly poor journalism and writing things entirely designed to antagonise, why don’t you try writing something useful. Part, a really large part of why the country is in such a bad state at the moment is down to journalists like you writing shocking articles such as this and stirring up public worry, fanning the fire of mass-panic. The public look to you for guidance in matters they’re not fully conversant in – you have a responsibility to them to advise accordingly, yet all you can do is tell people to go and shout at a perfectly innocent cog in a huge machine.

Do you think your little rant at the manager made any difference whatsoever except to make him dislike you even more than he already invariably does? It didn’t. He replied with “quite right” and silence because it’s the quickest and most efficient way to get obnoxious people out of your face. Oh, and as for your threat of taking your overdraft somewhere else? From the sounds of it, the staff in your bank would be elated if you did. And trust me, we don’t want your type of business – you aren’t a valued customer. And if your account is run as badly as you tried not to indicate, most other banks won’t want your business either.

Dick. Well, that took a while. But I’m quite impressed. I didn’t swear at all. I know, I know, I used a few long words, and he is staff of The Sun so he’ll have to look them up, but still. It was good for a laugh.

Off to go and… not write for a while.

The Disgruntled Banker – Part One

I work for a bank. I know, they let me work with people, it’s madness. Not only that, but they leave me in charge of their money. The purest definition of foolishness I’ve ever known. Anyway.

So I had a lady (barely) almost in tears in my office today. Now let me assure you, the cause was nothing to do with me offending her or having been rude etc. She asked me if I could extend her overdraft because she had no money to buy food for herself or her two children and wouldn’t be able to eat for a week. And I told her there was no way we could do such a thing because she was only on benefits as she was a jobless mother of two children, barely in her twenties, and had managed to get herself into lots of debt elsewhere already. I didn’t quite phrase it like that, but I explained the situation.

And the reason I sat there with not an ounce of sympathy, apart from my general apathy towards humanity, was that she’d spent the ten minutes previously explaining to me that she gets over a thousand pounds a month of benefits, has no rent or mortgage to pay, and when asked how on earth she spends all her money every month and still needs an overdraft, she answered “Yeah, like, umm, I get my nails done and stuff, and buy the kids new clothes all the time and stuff, and…”.

Dear fucking god, someone needs to put a lifeguard on the gene pool of life and not let people like this breed. She seemed to think it was funny at first, while she was telling me how she literally wastes all of her money on material crap that they don’t need, then comes to the bank asking for money because she can’t afford to feed herself and her children for a week. Then when she was told it wouldn’t be possible she started getting all upset and angry, as if it were my fault. I apologised, explained the situation again, and suggested that perhaps in future it would be a good idea to prioritise nourishment for herself and her children over sparkly nails.

The bagels were mouldy. It transpires that they’d been in the drawer much longer than previously anticipated. I had a toasted muffin with jam instead, though frankly I am of the opinion that the jam ruined it a bit.

Apparently I only seem to enjoy all the different weather types associated with winter when it’s actually dark out, or at the very least when the night is drawing in. It was raining and miserable out while I was on lunch today and I was most certainly not filled with joy. Perhaps that’s something to do with me being a night person, eh?

I’m pretty sure my next section is going to entirely split my audience (who’m I kidding?) in half. People who collect for charities in the streets really piss me off. This covers right from people with tins who ask for donations to those bastards with clipboards who ask you to hear the plight of some poor dying [insert suitably heart-rending charity-case here] and then sign up to donate money each month to feed/clothe/protect from abuse/buy tickets for theme parks and shows. I realise my last couple of statements may make me sound slightly heartless and misanthropic. Hi, nice to meet you. Allow me the merry pleasure of explaining my corner before the hate-mail starts.

It is, at its most basic, moral blackmail. I would even go so far as to suggest it is ethically irresponsible on some level. Reason being, if you’re out walking through town to pick up lunch, and you’re collared by a person with a level of cheeriness that can only be medically enhanced, who then asks you to spare five minutes of your time to hear their tale, you are morally and ethically obliged to do so. After all, you’re walking through a busy city, no doubt wearing clothes that are plenty warm enough, a mobile phone in your pocket, cash about your person, and a home to go to. Who in that situation could possibly refuse to spare a meager five minutes to help out one who isn’t so fortunate as yourself in life? Well, me, for one. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just I don’t care enough to give my time or money to it.

Now, I know that bit makes me sound awfully mean, and I am. But the thing is, I have, or should have the right to walk the streets without being accosted by people every damn day asking for my money. When I have to look at them and politely decline their offer of an informative chat about famine, they look all sad and crestfallen, like I just kicked a puppy and laughed. It makes one feel mildly bad. And I shouldn’t have to dodge people in the street when I’m merely going about my daily grind. I realise it’s slightly contradictory to say I don’t feel bad enough to give them time or money, but I do feel bad when I have to tell them ‘no thanks’, but hey.

I don’t, in any way, object to the general gist of what they’re trying to achieve by being out in the streets, I do however object to the methods they employ to do so. I would be quite happy if they just picked a busy corner, stood there with their clipboard (ooh, correct homophone usage makes people happy) and brightly coloured clothing with their particular charity on it, and stood and waited for people to approach them. Much less in your face, plus they don’t run the risk of annoying people who aren’t remotely interested in what they have to say.

Ok, that’s my rant about charities over for now.

My current blog stats look like this:

Now, the first big spike is the first day it was launched, and I’m pretty sure I was showing off etc so that’ll be why it got quite a few hits. I can’t really identify what made the other two peaks occur. I mean, I know which posts they relate to, but I’ve no idea what made those posts more apparent to the viewing public. And as you can see, it’s started to take a nice little decline over the last few days, which is a pity. Anyway, I just thought I’d show how things are going so far, as if it’ll remotely interest any of you.

And because we’re on graphs, and I’m geeky, this made me chuckle.

And I think on that note, I shall draw to a close for this evening, as I’m getting a little tired. As a final thought, I will say that Warhammer Online is still proving to be an excellent investment, so far showing itself to be a class above Warcraft.

I must look up the state of moose in the Canadian wilds.