Posts Tagged ‘news’

So I have several things to write about today, though I can’t guarantee that any of them will actually be interesting.

The share price went up 11 pence today, which is the largest rise in a few weeks since the peak of the turmoil, so things might be on the up and there’s just a small chance I won’t actually lose money after all, which is nice.

It seems the gods of Spite and Irony have been conspiring against me of late (not that they exist of course, but you know). Since writing my previous post about my dislike for charity collectors (not, I’d like it known, charity in general), I have been put in charge of all the charity events coordinating and collecting at work in November for Children In Need. I was less than impressed. Firstly, I’m no good at organising things like that, but more importantly I have no idea what kind of things we can do to raise monies. Thankfully, I’ll be in an entirely different country at the time, so I may yet be able to get out of it.

You know, every time I navigate to the WordPress site, all the Hawt Posts, Top VIP Posts, and Hot Community Posts are always about Obama, McCain, Palin, and the up-coming US election. Now granted, this is quite an interesting time, politically, but still. I can’t help wondering what all you people are going to write about once someone’s been elected and it’s all over and done with. Yes yes, I know there’ll still be plenty of issues for you to cover, re-cover, cover a third time, wax lyrical on unnecessarily, and talk about ad nauseum, but some of you are going to run out of fuel after the choice is made. I’m looking forward to it. Not only do an awful lot of the political blogs genuinely upset me because of the sheer and unashamed ignorance and arrogance of some of the people writing them, but also because frankly, I want something different on the WordPress front page to catch my eye.

While I generally dislike Facebook, especially because it’s not working properly at the moment whatsoever on my laptop, it does have some uses. I recently got ‘added’ by a girl I used to go to school with and haven’t seen or spoken to for nearly 15 years. It brought up some old and chucklesome memories – we used to hang out together climbing trees (pun unintended but left in for effect) and such like. She was my first girlfriend, in as much as you can have a girlfriend when you’re 11 years old. Anyway, yes, the joys of the internet.

I have had quite a few compliments on my reply to the journalist who wrote that fucking atrocious article that I posted in this entry (though not one comment on it, people – disappointed). I also know from past experience that I’m very good at writing that kind of thing, scathing and generally sarcastic and caustic replies to other people’s stupidity or ignorance. However, I’m straining my mind to think of what possible genre of writing I can turn that into, other than perhaps being a critic, which doesn’t really interest me. I do enjoy writing and having a good rant at someone for being foolish, though, so it’s something I’d like to do more of. Anyone have any suggestions as to how I can put that slightly unique brand of writing to good use? Regardless, until someone comes up with a decent idea or two, I’m going to start a campaign to get that ‘journalist’ fired, removed, resigned, or generally incredibly discredited for his utter and complete failure to produce anything worthy of reading. Should be fun.

I’m sure I had some other things to say, too, but I can’t remember them now. Alas.

Oh. I found out today that one of my best friends has cancer. He’s 22. I’m not sure I’m entirely thrilled about that.


I was sitting in the lunch room today and happened to glance down to my side to see a copy of The Sun ‘newspaper’. I put that in inverted commas for reasons that will become painfully evident in a few minutes. Anyway, in said ‘newspaper’ was an article written by what I can only assume was a journalist, seeing as he has a regular column. I read the article, since it pertained to the industry in which I currently hold employment.  Actually, article needs to be in inverted commas as well, but now I’m being mildly petty. I feel it a moral and societal obligation to reply to this article with a letter of my own, since it is so far removed from actual news, or even anything approaching factual insight. I’ll copy and paste the article in full below, and here’s a link to it if you want to read other people’s comments. The comments themselves are quite revealing about the state of some people who roam this nation, actually allowed to vote.

I DID something on Monday that I have wanted to do for 30 years.

I gave my bank manager the mother and father of all earfuls.

I’m thinking of making it available on a podcast.

For decades I have had to bow and scrape to the bank and their stuck-up staff who look down on my best efforts.

Monday was different. Monday was the day that the Royal Bank of Scotland was nationalised.

So now I own them. And by God were they going to pay.

I warmed up by pointing out to the manager that he was a failure. Now the lowest of the low, a civil servant.

And no matter how my bank account had looked over the years, I was a success.

At least I had money in my account and that’s more than can be said for RBS.

In future I don’t need your advice on what businesses to set up or become involved in. You haven’t got a clue. Your business is skint.


Secondly, from now on in I want to be treated like a valued customer and not somebody who appears to be getting in the way of the smooth running of the bank.

That will involve him smiling when I approach rather than looking as though one of us has trodden in something rather disgusting.

Thirdly, never again were they to offer me advice about what to do with my money. He didn’t know anything.

Bank executives are largely idiots who can just about print the stuff but that’s it.

Finally, I wanted him to promise that he would hire extra staff so he would get rid of the queues and stop making mistakes on my account.

My rather vile rantings were met with either “quite right” or silence.

My impression was that he had been receiving quite a lot of customer advice that day. The power has shifted forever.

We the customers are the masters now. Promise me this morning that you will contact your manager and warn him or her that unless you are better treated you will take your overdraft elsewhere.

Right, that’s the whole article. How do we all feel? Suitably literaryly violated? Yeah, I’m allowed to make up words, because at least what I write makes sense, you fucking cretin. Like I said, I’m afraid I see it as my duty to reply to the ‘article’. My reply is below, and will be posted as a comment to the article, emailed to the author, and quite possibly be distributed elsewhere.

I did something today that I’ve wanted to do for years, as well. I wrote a letter in reply to a journalist who penned an article so far removed from actual journalism I had to use a map to connect the two.

There are so many things wrong with your article that I’ve genuinely no idea where to start, but perhaps firstly I should state I work for a bank. Not, I’d like it known, the Royal Bank of Scotland, before you jump on a soap-box and assume I’m merely trying to defend my own.

Do you really think anyone at branch level had anything to do with the current economic climate the country finds itself in? Really? To clarify, the reason the country is in such monetary hardship at the moment is down to the decisions and choices made at the very highest level of the UK (and the US’s) major banks, not the people in direct contact with the public every single day. Calling the local branch manager a failure is much akin to calling the boy who polishes the shoes of the England football team a failure when the team loses the world cup.

The staff and managers in the branches are doing the best they can to actually calm and reassure the general public that their money is going to be ok. We don’t sit around behind closed doors cackling to ourselves about taking all your worldly wealth – our job is to try and save our customers money in whatever way we can and make their lives easier, not grab more of it for the bank. You venting your anger, frustration, or just having a shout because for some bizarre reason you think you have the right to would only have made the manager and the staff of the branch feel unappreciated and hated when they’re just as affected (if not moreso) as everyone else by the state of the nation’s finances. You think we have job security at the moment?

Secondly, you have no right to walk into a bank (or any service establishment, for that matter) and shout at the staff for some perceived mistreatment on your part. I am disgusted by your attitude to this matter, and even more so to the fact that you openly encourage others to do so when the staff of banks are clearly having a hard enough time of things at the moment as it is. Just because people work in a service environment, that does not mean they’re there to fall over at your every whim and desire to please you. We’re still people and deserve to be treated with respect. More to the point, perhaps, just perhaps the negative attitude you think you experienced from the staff of your bank is because you always enter the place with such an air of disdain and contempt about yourself that they’re in no way incentivized to be anything other than cordial to you? One wonders if you ever tried walking in there with a smile and a ‘good morning’? That was rhetorical, I already know the answer. Ever heard of projection? Smiles are infectious, but so are scowls.

Oh, by the way, the Royal Bank of Scotland aren’t owned by the government now, they’re a majority share-holder. There’s a subtle difference. Bank employees are not civil servants, but so what if they were. Where on Earth do you think you’d be without civil servants. What makes people who work in the service of the country the “lowest of the low”? As opposed to, say, an arrogant little man with a huge chip on his shoulder who specializes in writing inflammatory and spiteful remarks simply for the sake of his own self-satisfaction.

To be honest, the entire tone and content of your ‘article’ speaks hugely of a massive grudge you have with banks, and that’s nothing to do with the climate currently. Did they give you a few bank charges in the past? Refuse to give you a loan or increase your overdraft? Perhaps you should start taking some responsibility for yourself and your own actions and realise banks don’t do things like that for fun and frolics. It was your fault. Instead of practising incredibly poor journalism and writing things entirely designed to antagonise, why don’t you try writing something useful. Part, a really large part of why the country is in such a bad state at the moment is down to journalists like you writing shocking articles such as this and stirring up public worry, fanning the fire of mass-panic. The public look to you for guidance in matters they’re not fully conversant in – you have a responsibility to them to advise accordingly, yet all you can do is tell people to go and shout at a perfectly innocent cog in a huge machine.

Do you think your little rant at the manager made any difference whatsoever except to make him dislike you even more than he already invariably does? It didn’t. He replied with “quite right” and silence because it’s the quickest and most efficient way to get obnoxious people out of your face. Oh, and as for your threat of taking your overdraft somewhere else? From the sounds of it, the staff in your bank would be elated if you did. And trust me, we don’t want your type of business – you aren’t a valued customer. And if your account is run as badly as you tried not to indicate, most other banks won’t want your business either.

Dick. Well, that took a while. But I’m quite impressed. I didn’t swear at all. I know, I know, I used a few long words, and he is staff of The Sun so he’ll have to look them up, but still. It was good for a laugh.

Off to go and… not write for a while.

Feel so hazy…

Posted: 14th October, 2008 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I got the frames, but one didn’t have glass in it, so now I need to buy a custom size piece of glass. Are there even shops for that..?

Christ, my blog stat chart thing looks an awful lot like the economy at the moment. That just can’t be good. On that note, the share price has gone down and my shares have, so far, lost money. Money to the tune of £113. Meh, never mind, eh. Still a chance they’ll go back up before I need to sell them.

So I came home today and wandered into the front room for, literally, three minutes while the news was on. The two headlines I hear while I’m in there are as follows, as close to perfect as I can remember them:

Disabled man found dead inside a suitcase in a field. A disabled man who went missing earlier this year two days before his mother was found hung in her home was found dead inside a suitcase covered over in a field today.”

Owner of fast food restaurant fined £4000 today after he was found to be preparing food in the same room as a human corpse. Investigators also found a dead rat and open drains, as well as moldy food in the same room as the corpse.”

I shit you not. Where do I live? It sounds like something out of some grim alternate reality story… or South Central LA.

I doodle a lot while I’m at work. Whether it’s ’cause I’m sitting in a meeting with a pen in my hand and not hugely interested in what’s being discussed, or because I’m on the phone waiting for someone to pick up, or simply because a customer’s boring me, I’m usually scribbling, sketching, doodling, and other generic pen-on-paper terms. Apparently one can learn a lot about a person from the type of doodles they do, so I’ve decided to start posting mine here, if only to give the blog slightly more substance than walls of text. Anyone’s free to try and analyze them all they like. I’d be mildly curious about the results.

Right, need to go and protect an artifact.